Stop Complaining About Your Parents

‘Listen to your father, who gave you life, and don’t despise your mother.’ Proverbs 23:22 NLT

You don’t learn how to be a parent in school or college, you learn it ‘on the job’. And you make lots of mistakes—ones you sometimes look back on and cringe. But through it all, you love your children and want only what’s best for them. What’s the point here? If your parents failed you, then you probably have wounds that need to be healed. And God says, ‘I am the Lord, your healer.’ (Exodus 15:26 ESV) But don’t fall into the trap of self-pity by buying into the idea that you came from a ‘dysfunctional family’. Some families are better than others, but all of them have areas of dysfunction. Look back and consider your parents’ circumstances and some of the challenges they faced while raising you, and perhaps you’ll be able to view the mistakes they made with a little more compassion. They are human beings, just as you are; they make mistakes, just as you do. Nobody’s perfect. By showing compassion towards them you’ll be better able to show compassion towards yourself when you inevitably make mistakes with your own children. And—this is important—when your children see you extending grace towards your parents, they’ll be better able to extend it towards you. So if you need to forgive your parents, do it today and move on. Don’t keep bringing it up. Would you like God to keep reminding you of the sins He’s forgiven you for? No? Then try to show that same grace and compassion. And pray for them. Why? Because when you pray for somebody it’s hard to complain about them!

停止抱怨你的父母

你要听从生你的父亲；你母亲老了，也不可藐视她。 (箴言 23:22 和合本)

你不会在学校或大学里学习如何做父母，而是在当父母的过程中不断学习。你有时会犯很多错误，这会让你回头思索、犹豫不前。但在这个过程中，你是爱你的孩子，想要给他们最好的。这有什么意义？如果你的父母让你失望，那么你可能有伤口需要治愈。神说，我是耶和华，是医治你的。（出埃及记15:26ESV）但不要陷入自怜的陷阱，以为你来自一个“不正常的家庭”。一些家庭比其他家庭要好，但都有功能障碍。回头看看，想想你父母的情况，以及他们在抚养你时面临的一些挑战，也许你能多一点同情地看待他们犯下的错误。他们是人，和你一样，他们会犯错误，就像你一样。没有人是完美的。向他们表示同情，这样当你不可避免地对自己的孩子犯错误时，你就能更好地同情自己了。这一点很重要——当你的孩子看到你向父母伸出仁慈之手时，他们就能更好地将之延伸到你身上。所以，如果你需要原谅你的父母，今天就这样做，并保持下去，也不要在你的父母面前提到这一点。你是否希望上帝不断提醒你他已宽恕你的罪？如果不希望，那么就试着表现出同样的优雅和同情心，为他们祈祷。为什么呢？因为当你为某人祷告时，很难抱怨他们。